Picking The Family Size That Is Right For You
So when’s number two coming??
It’s an inventible question after you’ve had one baby, even if that first baby is only a few hours old. And while people mean well and just trying to be excited for you and your family, it can be really frustrating or even hurtful if you have no plans for having any more babies. Or, it can be exciting because you have known forever that you wanted more than one child. But the bottom line is, it’s not for someone else to decide how many children you should have. You know your family, your know your financial situation, you know your health, and you know your goals in life, so it is completely up to you if one, two, or twelve kids fit into that picture.
The decision to have children is strictly yours, and the decision about how many children to have is also strictly yours! We encourage our clients to not be afraid to speak their truth when it comes to all aspect of pregnancy and birth, and family size is a natural fit for being able to.
Team One and Done
Many only children are wonderful people (myself included), and many parent’s of only children are completely happy with only baby. The choice to have one child can be easy if that’s what you and your partner have dreamed about. Yet, if you have to defend that choice to family members or even stranglers, it can get really annoying after awhile.
Furthermore, it can be a really difficult realization if you struggled with getting pregnant with your first child, and the thought of repeating that struggle may not be possible. Infertility or health complications during pregnancy can be really scary, frustrating, and heartbreaking, so the fact that you got pregnant once is amazing and you should celebrate that. Do not let
Team All The Babies
Some people know from the minute they have their first baby they want to have more, so the question of when is the next one arriving is naturally because they are already thinking about it. So for these people, we say go ahead! Have all the babies! Two of the best women I know are from large families: Morgan is one of three children, and my mother is one of five!
But, how many kids SHOULD I have?
There is no should when it comes to being pregnant, giving brith, or raising children. Many people’s “should” is someone else’s “must have” or “never in a thousand years”.
If you are on the fence about having more kids, ask yourself the following:
- Can I safely be pregnant and give birth again?
- Am I ready to repeat the newborn stage again?
- How would my budget look if I added more children to our family?
- Do I want more kids?
- Does my partner want more kids?
Even though there can be less than fun moments of pregnancy, birth, and parenthood, the idea of having more children should bring you joy. If it doesn’t, that is totally fine! And that should give you your answer if you are wondering if adding a second is the right thing.
As your doulas, we will support you if you have one child, or if you have a dozen. After all, nonjudgmental support is what we are all about.
