A Previous Traumatic Birth Does Not Define You

Having a traumatic or negative birth experience can be very challenging to overcome, and thinking about having another birth that could potentially have a similar experience may bring up powerful emotions. While we cannot fix a past negative birth experience, or guarantee a positive birth experience the second time around, we can promise we will completely support our clients through their pregnancy and birth.

Impact of a Negative Birth Experience

With such a personal experience of birth producing a traumatic or negative experience, there are going to be lasting effects on the birthing person and possibly even the partner as well. This impact can be felt as an parenting failure: some birthing individuals may question if they are good enough to deserve a baby. It can be felt through negative body perceptions: you may question what is wrong with your body and why it wasn't able to do what it is "suppose to do". And lastly, it can be felt as failure to your identity and cause you to question who you are as a woman or a man, or as a mother or a father.

You are enough.

Your birth does not define you are, who you will be, or what kind of parent you are to your baby.

Birth Planning Your Way

As professional doulas, we do not have an agenda when it comes or birth. We understand that this is your experience, and we are there to support you, however you need us to do so. We provide that support in nonjudgmental and unbiased way so each decision you make, you feel confident and supported. Furthermore, understanding these impacts will certainly play a part in how we will support you, as we will be acutely aware of how to help differ your current birth experience from your past birth experience.

At our first prenatal appointment, we will go through our extensive birth plan (all six pages to be exact), and learn exactly what you want, don't want, and what you are not sure about. This process not only provides us with an insight into you, but it also opens the door for you to learn how to empower yourself through options and hopefully allows you to talk with your medical team about your wishes. Furthermore, this process can open your eyes to ways that may be able to avoid a particularly negative part of your previous birth. For example, if pushing your baby was a negative experience, we can talk both about different ways to push or to have an elective cesarean birth that would avoid the pushing face all together. As doulas. We are about options, and those options will hopefully allow you to both mourn your traumatic or negative previous birth experience, while simultaneously look forward and remain positive that your next birth will not produce those negative feelings.